Friday, January 13, 2012

Good to the Last Drop

Welp, my little sweet son is 6 months today! What a milestone! Today was also the last day at work I will be a pumping fool in the nurses office. My original plan was six months and now on this day I feel freedom, guilt, and the need to finally wear a bra with under wire. My boobs are begging to be uplifted from the Medela nursing bra they've been forced into for the last half a year.

Breastfeeding has been so much more than I originally thought. When someone told me, "Your tits will become breasts," upon hearing my pregnancy news, they weren't kidding. It's so amazing what the human body can do. My body supplied my son's nutritional needs for four months, then work got in the way and formula came to the rescue. Watching Samuel drink his first formula bottle was like putting Kryptonite next to Superman. I felt so bad; how can I as his mom give him this junk in a can? To make myself feel better, I started calling it his little "protein drink" and telling him in order to get muscles like mom and dad he needs a little whey in his diet. Then I would remember "curds and whey" from Little Miss Muffet and feel milk guilt all over again. Curds, milk, get it?

So then, Samuel was put in the category of breastfeeding and supplementing, which took awhile to accept, and admit. I never thought I would feel so bad about having to supplement, but really I had no other choice. Pumping at work was not as effective as I'd thought. Coworkers and friends would boast about how they had so much milk they would have to switch bottles during pumping (what are you a tap?) while I would watch each drop with anticipation as each bottle barely hit the 2 oz. mark, leaving me drained in more ways than one.....

On the other hand, I know I will continue to breastfeed in the morning, after work, and in the evening. Samuel is not in the exclusive "formula" category yet. When that day comes, have a glass of wine and a box of tissues for this momma. The only thing that will be rejoicing that fateful day is my new VS bra which has been waiting for its debut since July 13, when this whole adventure began, and when my sweet son was born. :)


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