Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Heavy Heart

Whenever I'm really upset I like to write. It is therapeutic in some ways as things don't always come out like you want them to, but when writing you can cross, erase, white things out so they sound just as they should. My heart is heavy and has been now that a dear friend is no longer here to talk to, laugh with, and enjoy their company. There is comfort in the fact that he is in heaven, but I can't send him a text, call him, or know he is just a few states away, which as selfish as it is, sucks. I know that my life was made better because I knew him, and I carry a piece of his story with me. I have memories with him that others don't and vice versa. That's the cool thing about life, relationships, and God. God puts people in your life for a reason, and knowing that where we are right now is our temporary home, and we will see our friends and family again in heaven someday, helps my heavy heart feel just a little bit lighter.

1 Thessalonians 4:13
"And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died so you will not grieve like people who have no hope."

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Poopoo Plunger

I am almost upto 800 views, hurray hurrah! I'm hoping with this post, I will go flush up to that number! Yah, um..... look for more of these jokes throughout. You also may want to put down anything brown you are eating... just to warn you. So this will be TMI to the max, but hey like the book says, everyone poops. So I have been known to clog a toliet in my day, which has put me into jams de backup... literally.

Exhibit A: I was at a vball player's house in college; her family was nice enough to let the entire volleyball team stay with them. I decided to return the favor by clogging her comode and simulating a waterfall effect all over her bathroom. I told her I'd be real quick as the rest of the team was outside waiting to depart. Her dad was left to clean up the poopoo, and too bad for him, beans was on the menu the night before.

Exhibit B: I was visiting a friend in college, and woke up frantically looking for the bathroom. The girls room was shut off for cleaning (little did the janitor know, the boys room would soon be too), so I had no choice but to run into the boys room. As I was recreating the Dumb and Dumber scene basically, a guy walked in. No I didn't stop going, I couldn't; plus it was kind of funny. As I'm in mid flush, to my horror I watched the lil' terds cascade all over the bathroom floor. All I could muster was, "Sorry," as his jaw hit the floor next to my poo.

Exhibit C: This one has to be good as it earned the title for this post. I was in my room at college, getting ready for track practice. Last thing on my list was to use the bathroom. Well, once again, clogorama. I was panicked because I was about to be late. I called my bf (hubby now) bawling, telling him I didn't have a plunger and he needed to come help me. Flash forward 10 minutes, he is in my bathroom inhaling poop fumes plunging like there was no tomorrow. Success! Now, what to do with the poop laden plunger? It only made sense to take it outside over my balcony and pour water all over it. Little did I know there was a wind storm, so all poop chunks were blown to the balcony below. (Sorry residents of 106 if you are reading this).

Next time you get stuck (or something else for that matter) in a situation like this, remember, everyone poops.

Saturday, September 18, 2010


So hopefully by reading my posts, you understand what a dog/animal lover I am. This blog is dedicated to a cocker spaniel pooch I tried to rescue in college. My friends and I were driving along the streets of Beaver Falls, (a scary place to be at times), and we saw this sad little canine on the sidewalk, looking lost and afraid. How depressing! This poor dog couldn't find her way home! (I assume every cocker spaniel is a female due to Lady and the Tramp). I opened my back car door and she jumped right in. My friends and I proceeded to drive around this neighborhood in B.F. looking for people who were looking for their dog. About fifteen minutes later, we ended up in the same place we were, not really sure what to do. I figured the dog might have to pee or something, so I opened my back door. Sure enough she jumped out, but didn't stop at the grass. She started trotting; trotting right up to her house! I dognapped her from right outside her home! I was mortified! Did this family see me take their dog? I was only trying to help! I peeled away from that scene faster than Usain Bolt.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

PBJ Extreme

So many years ago I was a college student trying to balance school, track, vball, and all other things a college career encompasses. My frugal bf, now hubby, taught me a thing or two about saving cashola. He told me to use the cafeteria's bread and pbj so I would save roughly $6 per week, $25 per month. So every night after dinner I humbly packed my pbj for the next day. Who knew that ingredients for pbjs would run rampant in my kitchen someday.

Some of the teachers in my pre-student teaching days were not the friendliest. I basically wore a dunce cap in the lunch room. If I wasn't copying or bulletin boarding, they weren't smiling. One day I was eating my pbj and all of a sudden I realized there was a hair in my mouth along with a huge bite o' sandwich. No problem, I thought, I'll just nonchalantly pull it out (that's what she said). As I'm pulling the hair I realized this wasn't a fuzzy. This was one of my hairs! I was eating my hair on a sandwich ew how gross! So here I am trying to act like it was no thang as I was having a panic attack of america. I did not cough it up later, which is probably a good thing. Can you imagine the students going home and telling their parents that the student teacher coughed up a hairball?

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Fun day Saturday

Today I did two of my favorite things....had a yard sale and called 911. My yard sale yielded $41 in profit and my detective work yielded another headache from the cops. Yard sales attendees are awesome. Many people asked about gold and coins. I thought if only I had had gold coins what a day it could have been. (On a side note, doesn't had had look incorrect in print? I read this in a Babysitter's Club book when I was younger and thought I found a discovery. I thought wow I am smarter than the author and I'm only nine! Wishful thinking). So the yard sale was fun. My favorite item sold was a trio pack of cassette tapes of Timothy and the Cay someone bought for 50 cents. I found this in the back of my cupboard at work and nearly peed my pants when the buyer handed over a half dollar. Really what was she going to do with this?! After the yard sale I stopped at Kmart. On my way out I saw a woman throwing piles of clothes (an entire cart full) into her car. Her hubby or ex-convict bf zipped out of the parking lot with a close riding Alero (me) on their tail. Kmart was having an end of summer sidewalk sale. I guess this broad thought the clothes were free? I reported the plate and the cops said they would take care of it. Josh was so proud of me he bought me a present (see above). He coincidentally bought it at Kmart. I guess he felt bad with the money they lost and all. He said I deserve to be a deputy. Ahhh what a day, what a life.


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