Good to the Last Drop

Welp, my little sweet son is 6 months today! What a milestone! Today was also the last day at work I will be a pumping fool in the nurses office. My original plan was six months and now on this day I feel freedom, guilt, and the need to finally wear a bra with under wire. My boobs are begging to be uplifted from the Medela nursing bra they've been forced into for the last half a year.

Breastfeeding has been so much more than I originally thought. When someone told me, "Your tits will become breasts," upon hearing my pregnancy news, they weren't kidding. It's so amazing what the human body can do. My body supplied my son's nutritional needs for four months, then work got in the way and formula came to the rescue. Watching Samuel drink his first formula bottle was like putting Kryptonite next to Superman. I felt so bad; how can I as his mom give him this junk in a can? To make myself feel better, I started calling it his little "protein drink" and telling him in order to get muscles like mom and dad he needs a little whey in his diet. Then I would remember "curds and whey" from Little Miss Muffet and feel milk guilt all over again. Curds, milk, get it?

So then, Samuel was put in the category of breastfeeding and supplementing, which took awhile to accept, and admit. I never thought I would feel so bad about having to supplement, but really I had no other choice. Pumping at work was not as effective as I'd thought. Coworkers and friends would boast about how they had so much milk they would have to switch bottles during pumping (what are you a tap?) while I would watch each drop with anticipation as each bottle barely hit the 2 oz. mark, leaving me drained in more ways than one.....

On the other hand, I know I will continue to breastfeed in the morning, after work, and in the evening. Samuel is not in the exclusive "formula" category yet. When that day comes, have a glass of wine and a box of tissues for this momma. The only thing that will be rejoicing that fateful day is my new VS bra which has been waiting for its debut since July 13, when this whole adventure began, and when my sweet son was born. :)

10 Year Reunion

So tonight is my 10 year high school reunion. I keep thinking about that one car commercial where the guy is flooded with memories as he remembers times in his old car with his high school girlfriend. It would be funny if every person that walked in tonight had to pause and listen to.."Oh yah this is powerful stuff," or however the song starts, and share the nostaglia they were experencing upon seeing high school people. I am excited, I think my class was pretty close. I'm sure there will be moments of awkwardness, but that just makes for even more stories later on. Needless to say, this is mine and Josh's first night away from our little bambino. He will be in good hands, but I will miss putting him to sleep. :)

Stay at home.....teacher?

Whoa what a trip the last four months have been... and I'm sure will continue to be as I learn what to do, and not do in motherhood. I've definitely learned a lot about myself, Josh, and the whole dynamic of becoming parents. I don't think my maternity leave went fast, there were some looonnnggg days, and nights. I don't say that with disdain, because I would not trade a sleepless night for anything, okay maybe a spray tan, but I digress.

How can this sweet little bundle of joy not even know me and love me so much? He doesn't know that I speed, interrupt people, make comments under my breath ahem, critical ones, procrastinate, so many of my faults, he has no concept of, (and hopefully doesn't inherit), yet he smiles and coos and is just content to be in my presence. What a miracle sweet Samuel, and any baby for that matter, is.

I make one UGLY stay-at-home mom. There have been days I look in the mirror and scare myself. Matted feathers, dayS old mascara, hairy l... well not only legs, hairy everything. Oh my, oh my. If I brushed my hair before Josh came home on certain days, he was lucky. I would stumble to give him a hug as he came in the door, with a breast pump in one hand, and boob, figuratively speaking, and a burp cloth in the other. He would kiss my cheek far enough to my ear b/c he knew my pearly whites smelled anything but minty.

What a transition I am facing as I am re-entering the work force. I could easily watch the boob tube (see there is a correlation between breastfeeding and watching tv. I mean you can't look at your baby or read every time) from 8-1 everyday. I start with Good Morning America/Today show, depending on the topics. No Matt Lauer, I don't care where in the world you are this week, so GMA has been my pick. Then we have Regis and Kelly at 9. Once I see what Kelly is wearing, and a good bicep flex from her (awkward), and hear a senile remark from Rege (ugh those critical comments), I flip to more GMA. Next we have Ellen, LOVE! She is hilarious. 11-1 is a little sketchy between Whoopi, Nate Burkus and the Doctors. All similar in entertainment, also all with the same level of mediocrity. Now instead of zoning out in front of the tv on my lazy mornings, I'll have students zoning out on me. I know this is what has to be done, but maybe in the future, say baby # 4... I may just be able to be a stay-at-home mom for good. :)

Mean Face

I wasn’t really sure what to expect post baby in regards to my body. I read this horrifying article in a baby magazine where a girl described her post baby body as a mean face. Her boobs were the eyes, her mangled belly button was the nose, and her c-section scar was the mean smile. When I lifted my shirt and looked in the mirror for the first time after Samuel was delivered, unfortunately that article came to mind. I got a kick out of my beer belly of America for awhile, until all that “brew” wasn’t going down as quickly as I’d thought. Yes I did lose a lot of the weight quickly, and I’m thankful for that, but the little “apron” as my grandma calls it, is very unforgiving in clothing. Crunches/ab workouts have always been my downfall at the gym; I used to leave them until the end, and usually a measly 25 reps was all I got in due to how tired I was from working out. Also, guys at the gym would make very disturbing noises when crunching, situping, etc. so that was enough for me to bypass the area. I guess now I’m going to have to make an effort to start with abs, end with abs, heck, even just go to the gym to do an entire hour of abs!

There are times where I look at Samuel and think, how shallow am I to worry about extra skin on my stomach, when this beautiful miracle was the result? Then, in my shallow moments, I see all of my thin friends and think, ugh, I’m sucking in, and can people still see the extra skin that’s there? Can people also tell that my pants aren’t buttoned or zipped up the whole way? I guess until it’s gone, or at least back to some semblance of abs, it will be a work in progress. I know it takes time, and that’s one thing I have. Now I just need the patience and dedication to work off this flabulosity, so I can be fabulosity! :)

Baby News!

So I was welcomed into the world of motherhood by sweet Samuel 4 weeks ago. It's so hard to believe I'm a parent! The same stresses, joys, happiness, and anger that my parents experienced with me, I will have with Samuel, and I'm looking forward to every minute of it! Now that pregnancy is behind me, and motherhood is ahead, I thought I'd make a few lists of things that have helped, shocked, and preoccupied me for the last few months.

Top Five Moments of Pregnancy:
(In no particular order)
5- Feeling Samuel kick, have hiccups, and move around for the first time
4- Going to the gym the day before I was due, having people ask me when I was due, telling them "tomorrow" and the look on their face. What am I supposed to do people, just WAIT for my water to break?
3- Constantly having dreams about my grandfather and friend Adam
2- Finding out we were having a boy, and telling our families
1- Hitting a woman on Route 30 and then driving away, so yes I'll say it, a hit and run. She eventually caught up to me on the road, as I was pulling into an apartment complex. I told her that I was going to get my registration card b/c I had forgotten it at home, and I was planning on coming back to the McDonald's where she had pulled over. Thank goodness she didn't wait for me to go into my apartment, she peeled out faster than Usain Bolt in the 100 meter dash.

The Weirdest thing someone said to me being pregnant: "Is it weird that you have a penis inside of you at all times?" I was not going to dignify this with a response, I mean REALLY person that I will not say your name b/c I'm embarrassed for you. I sweetly said back,"What's weirder is when there are two inside of me."

The 2nd weirdest thing someone said to me....
Old woman at gym: "Honey, where are you delivering?"
Me: "Westmoreland"
Owag: "Oh no, my husband died there."
Me: "Hopefully I'll have better luck."

WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?

I wish people would have told me....

-Labor is a beast. I look at women with kids completely different now. They are heroes. Warriors. Tough.
-To write down baby brain blunders, they are ridic.
-Tummy after baby is like white trash, beer drinking USA, you have to have a sense of humor about it.
-Breastfeeding isn't physically challenging, but more exhausting. Some days I think 90% of my day I breastfed, and 10% involved changing diapers.


Top 5 things I COULD NOT live without for the first month:
1. A supportive husband, but that goes without saying. That is tied for first with a Boppy.
2. Crib saver sheets. Samuel managed to spit up and pee everywhere, but they did save some of the crib sheet.
3. The "What To Expect" trilogy.... these books are amazing and are definitely worthy of the same accolades as Lord of the Rings or Star Wars or any other trilogy of that caliber.
4. My belly band sucker inner thing. I don't think it did one lick to reduce my white trash, beer drinking, belly but I like to think it helped some.
5. My sweet son Samuel