Hands Free Mama

Okay so do I mean this type of "Hands Free"? ….not exactly. 

Here is the cover of an amazing book I read this summer...

I want to be the best mom I can be, so this book seemed to be a relevant/interesting read based on the cover, and could possibly give me some tips for this journey called motherhood. One of the first pages had this pledge….

I initially thought this book was all about getting rid of devices, but it was so much more. Many things jumped out to me... had me crying, thinking, taking notes, rereading. It just made sense. The premise of the book is all about being "present" which I'm finding in today's world is becoming a problem. I want to be present for my kids, my family, my friends. 

"If you constantly feel your attention being averted from what really matters to the insignificant and meaningless details of your life, then you might be familiar with The Disease of Distraction."

Hmm.. interesting…

Here are some highlights and how I am totes guilts of what this book was all about:

*One story Rachel (the author) told, was how her daughters REALLY wanted to go swimming on Mother's Day. This was not her idea of how this day would pan out, and after all, FINALLY, a day where a mom can be selfish and do things she wants to do without feeling guilty about putting her needs first. Rachel described how she didn't really enjoy swimming, and if and when she did go, she hated getting her hair wet. I totally agree. The many times I took Samuel in our pool this summer, I didn't go under. Ugh, chlorine hair + sun = nightmare. One day this summer I had a sitter come to the house, and she got her hair wet. This was the first thing Samuel told me when I came home. "We went swimming, and we BOTH went under!" Guilt surged through my body. This small thing that I repeatedly avoided, was his highlight while I was away.

We spend a lot of time under water in the pool now. :) I just go to bed with pool head! I mean the belly laughs I get from Samuel when I go under and "George Washington" my hair are worth every split end that results from our pool day. 

"Being spontaneous and playful created a tangible connection to my children that simply observing them did not." 

I am totally guilty of this one… "watching" Samuel play with his monster trucks, train set, Play-Doh, kitchen, you name it… and not "engaging" in the play… because I'm.. making dinner, picking up, trying to fold five towels real quick, cleaning up a spill, answering a text, you name it. Rachel talked about a time it was raining and she allowed her kids to play in the rain, and she joined them. Wow. What a memory she created for her kids.

So last week, as I'm four weeks out from having a baby… Jonah is sleeping, FINALLY (that's a whole other blog post) in his swing for a few hours. 4-7:30 P.M. to be exact. It was one of those beautiful fall days we've been having. Samuel wanted to play in his sprinkler. Translation…ugh, I have to dig it out of the toy bin, hook it up to the hose, it's going to fall over 25 times. Sounds awful. Then I thought..what if I play with him?  Um, because Jonah is sleeping, I just had a baby, my uterus will fall out, should I keep going? But I thought, I could create a memory for Samuel. We could tell dad how we BOTH played in the sprinkler today; doing our best Spiderman jumps over the water. 

Yes we both got wet, grass was all over our feet, which we tracked in the house, but it was a fun time. #uterusdidnotfallout

He still talks about that "silly" day. 

"XO before you go"

There have been many mornings, and I'm sure there will continue to be…

"Josh do you have money to pay the sitter? What do you want for dinner? Did Samuel pee in his pull-up last night?" Literally a 20-minute conversation smashed into two minutes, as we are both walking out the door. How many times do I blow kisses to my husband and baby, shout, "I love you; have a good day," and fly out the door? This whole "XO before you go" is sweet. Make the time to give a sufficient hug and kiss before you go. Maybe that means waking up five minutes earlier, or not putting on as much makeup, or something. I know typing this sounds easier than in the moment, but I really like the idea. I never want my family to feel as though I'm too rushed or busy to show them affection. #heartbreaking

The last quote from the book I love is: 

"Choosing connection over distraction offers you a chance to nuture your most sacred relationships-now and in the future. I cannot think of a better use of your precious time, can you?

It's Thomas!

So yesterday was Samuel's third birthday party. He loves Thomas the Train, so that was the theme for the shindig. One of my best friends is an event planner, so I guess I'll have to ask her if a headache, sickness, hangover feeling follows every day AFTER an event. What a whirlwind of a few weeks, and day, but what a reward seeing Samuel's face when the school bus pulled up to take him to his party at the park. 

Pure Joy :)

I know a bus isn't a train, so maybe the theme should have been "transportation" technically. A friend of Josh's brought us conductor-ish gear…so this was our attire for the celebration: 

The baby is all hyped up on caffeine #tiredmom

I love that Josh participates and willingly wears these ridiculous things. I was concentrating on keeping my breakfast and iced coffee down on the bus. I am so sensitive to motion sickness. Every bump in the road and bead of sweat intensified my sickness…. but it was worth it to ride with my little man! 

We had a few hiccups along the way….. 3 to be exact… but it was all good. :)

1.  I saw on Pinterest this easy way to say "Happy Birthday" as soon as your kiddo wakes up on his or her special day. #somethingthatisactuallydoableonpinterest

Go figure, the ONLY lipstick I had in my drawer was my ONLY MAC lipstick…. there is $16.00 down the drain… and Samuel wanted me to wipe it off because "people don't write on mirrors."

2.  When Tiff and I went to the park to decorate in the morning, we had some guests that would not get out of our way. Adorable, but a little anxiety provoking when on a tight schedule to catch a bus! 

3.  I wanted to do this that I found online for drinks to go with the "Thomas" theme….

But we ended up with a broken decanter…. and only iced tea with no signs…..

People probably wondered why there were decanters and cups in addition to four coolers. Stupid Pinterest makes me feel guilty. Sorry Aunt Debbie…. on my to-do list this week.

Overall, it was an awesome day with friends and family. We are so blessed to have Samuel and I hope he had the best time at his party. The day ended with this picture… I was too tired to sleep of course, but I'm glad the birthday boy and my co-conductor got some sleep after a busy day! 

New Blog Design!

So I am super pumped because I totally (well, not me), but Jen, revamped my blog! This is something I have wanted to do for awhile, and I think the timing is just right! While my recipe section will be pretty sparse, I'm excited to share more experiences, stories, etc., and just be"real" navigating through parenting (and life)…especially with another one coming so soon! 




Check out Jen's website…she is awesome! :)


http://www.munchkinland-designs.com

What is your February 24th?

Let me just start and say, I hope you don't have one. I hope a day doesn't exist like this for you. I hope you don't have to dread the month, the week, the day, the hour, like I do every February 24th. Eleven years later, this day still leaves me lost. Do I take off work, sit around, cry, and let myself feel? Do I work and become preoccupied in everything but the events of that day? Do I try to write down everything I remember about my mom, as I've done so many times; fearful as the years pass, the memories become less vivid? I've tried all of these things, and the one person I want to be around, maybe the only one, is my dad. I feel like out of anyone, he gets how I feel. He understands the depth of my grief, and the stages I've gone through, easing my way to acceptance, one day. We handle our emotions very similarly. If I know he is okay, so I am, and vice versa. I am grateful how our relationship has grown since 2003. He went to wedding appointments with me when Josh was working, gave me advice on invitations, has helped me set up my classroom, has been a listening ear…has learned to play "mom" on so many occasions. I appreciate him, and value how he has stepped in at times where I'm sure he was literally freaking out…"Dad, so I haven't got my period yet after breastfeeding"….. conversations that years ago would seem ridiculous to have with your dad, but have changed to, it would be ridiculous not to have them with him. He is very kind with notes and being thoughtful. This note was attached to a Grove City gift card he gave me for my 30th bday:

I choose to be happy, and try to be positive, even though some days it's hard, and can be forced depending on the situation. I no longer had my mom with me after the age of 19. I am so grateful for the relationship we had, and I do believe she is always watching over me. The emptiness, the void though, is ever so present as it was the day my dad gave me the heartbreaking news, that would change me as a child, wife, mother, teacher, person. I look at people who have both parents, and from the outside don't seem like they have a care in the world, but you know what… you don't know what someone is going through. J.M. Barrie — 'Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.' Maybe they have both of their parents, but their marriage is falling apart. Maybe they have a solid marriage, have never experienced loss, but they are fighting depression. You just don't know…. Something that provides daily comfort to me is: Matthew 5:4 "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." I wish I could just cover myself in that scripture with the biggest sleeve ever. Maybe someday, for now, I meditate on it, especially this week every year. I like to think that my mom would look something like this holding Samuel, and in September, my new baby. I love you mom.

A Family of Four

Oh.my.gosh. I.am.pregnant. Whenever I take a test and it's positive, I seriously go into a shocked/catatonic phase. I blink over and over to make sure I actually am seeing two lines. Testing positive a few days after Christmas was so exciting. I feel like the day I took the test I was literally showing already.

So what happens to tats on the stomach reason during pregnancy? This will be a fun game for the next 10 months. :) So many things rush through my head (at all times) but especially when I'm pregnant. Some of my first thoughts were... -How will Samuel be with another baby? I grew up an only child, so in a sense, that is all that I know... how will I be able to fairly, equally, adequately, honestly spend my time with two of them? Will Samuel feel slighted at all? -I'm sorry to people who are having trouble getting pregnant out there, because now I'm just one more person who is, and you're not, and I feel for you. I'm sorry to women who can't have kids, because my status, is a reminder. I'm sorry to people who are going through a rough patch in a relationship, in life, at work, because my "happy" posting is an annoyance. I've been there and I know how hard it is when everyone around you seems to be so happy, and it's hard for you to put on a smile. I'm sorry for women who have lost babies, and your heartache is intensified reading, seeing, watching anything to do with pregnancies or babies. -What in the world will this body of mine do this pregnancy? Will it be stretched, pulled, battered? Will I go back? Will I have twins? Okay, I could seriously type 10 pages of my thoughts, but I'll stop. 1 Samuel 1:27 We couldn't be more excited. Thank you God for the miracle of pregnancy. Thank you for letting us grow our family. Thank you for restoration in marriage, and all the blessings that comes with it. Thank you for letting me be a mom to a sweet new child. I'm not good at a lot of things, but I think Samuel would say I'm a pretty good mom, and hopefully new bambino agrees.