Somebody Call 911....Shawty Fire Isn't Burning on the dance floor, the 911 operator's ears are...

So if all else fails, my motto is "Call 911." These operators are paid to help people right? So there were three specific incidents when I called, and no one helped, go figure, story of my life. The Beatles song "Help" was running through my head, because I needed someone and thought, "Won't you please, please help me?"

1. A bird flew into my window last summer. I was scared to look outside and see some sort of liquid oozing out of the pigeon as he or she lay lifeless on the ground. Was he on a mission from NYC to deliver a message to a friend? Was she gathering worms for her babies? Was he trying to dry off from a birdbath? What WAS that liquid? Pee? Water from his bath? I didn't know what to do, but I had to act fast. I first called the aviary, proud of myself for remembering they associate with birds. The girl was less than thrilled to hear of my bird saga and suggested I try someone else. My dad was next, and he told me to put it out of its misery and kill it (I'm like PITA advocate to the max, so that was out. When I see birds flying south for the winter I get teary). Sean Kingston came into my mind and I thought, okay Sean I'll do it, I'll call 911, thanks! I prefaced the call with, "Okay, this is not an emergency but..." They were annoyed, I was sad, the bird was oozing.

2. My hubby and I were driving when we saw a deer with a wounded leg hobbling across the road. I'm not kidding, this time Sean Kingston was in the backseat, and we knew what we had to do...He was helping Shawty, we were helping a deer.

3. I was driving home on a beautiful sunny day and I saw this criminal type person basically creating a paper mache project transferring newspapers and tape to an old car. The license plate was not visible, and he was feverishly completing this project as if his life depended on it. This time I had to swerve because S.K. (hopefully no explanation is needed) was standing in the middle of the road. I was already dialing before I saw him. Since all of these episdoes were within a 1 month period, the operator basically hung up on me.

I feel like this relates to the little boy who cried wolf, in some way, but not sure how...maybe because I don't understand that fable, it's late, or I somehow know that NOT calling 911 in all those situations wasn't the answer to my problems...